77726

Joke of the Day

"Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win you're still retarded."

"""I have to poop"" ~What teenagers say when they don't want to do something you've asked them to do"

"I named my dog Shark to make him sound tough... For some reason, people go into a panic when he runs off on the beach."

"Knock knock Who's there? Radio Radio who? Radio not I'm gonna cum in your mouth -Chuck Palahniuk"

"""I enjoy working with a hammer, but I don't want a blue collar job."" - Everyone who eventually becomes a judge."

"Wife: Have you seen my stilettos? Me [6 inches taller and struggling to stand]: Uh *stumble* No"

"*lowers car suspension to look more gangster* *takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*"

"Son: Dad, I need some money! Dad: You should get a job at the StarBrites factory. Son: Why? Do they pay well? Dad: You kidding? ***You'll make a mint!***"

"If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved."

"""Tender and mild"" is a great way to describe chicken and a TERRIBLE way to describe a holy infant."