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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list."

"Bear of bad news: Hey, sport. You might wanna be sitting down. Ready? Oh god how do I put this? I'm gonna have to maul the shit out of you."

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring"

"Girls be having unprotected sex but then have the best case for their iPhone. They care more about their phone than their pussy"

"If Twitter was a country, its flag would just have a bunch of poop and bacon and beer on it."

"How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One but you should have seen the bulb it must have been THIS big."

"Really Smooth. I lied told my dad that school was canceled. He said,"" lets go see a movie."" We got in the car and he dropped me off at school."

"The truth about cardiovascular health!"

"Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilet stalls big enough to run around in."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo on my face."