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Joke of the Day

"Bear of bad news: Hey, sport. You might wanna be sitting down. Ready? Oh god how do I put this? I'm gonna have to maul the shit out of you."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cam ! Cam who ? Camalot is where King Arthur lived !"

"Why does the boss put clocks under employee's desk? Because he wanted them to work over-time~"

"The man who invented auto-correct has died. May he restaurant in piece."

"My sister is a mathematician... She celebrates 4/20 on January fifth because it's just simpler that way."

"Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share? They like rock."

"What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know, and I don't care one way or the other."

"What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes!"

"[creating humans] GOD: Make them imperfect... ANGEL: Okay...done... GOD: Now make them apologize to Me all the time for being imperfect."

"A man streaked passed two old women in the park... the first one had a stroke; the other missed"