114982

Joke of the Day

"Why is it expensive to be a criminal? Because the police charge you."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

"I love heavy metal. My favourite is lead."

"The first rule of denial club is I can stop anytime I want."

"One man went to Reddit assuming it as a hotel One man went to reddit assuming it as a hotel and asked: what to eat ? Admin Replayed: Subreddit and guidelines Man: Give me one plate each HA Ha Ha"

"why was the blonde staring at the light bulb for long hours with her mouth open? because the doctor advised her to ""eat light"""

"I'm stuck in a meeting where a guy keeps saying ""utilize"" and ""leverage"" and I'm wondering if I should tell him about the word ""use""."

"Can strawberry jam? No, but lemon curd."

"I asked Dumbledore what 3 + 5 was. It didn't know the answer because it was a dumb old door."

"I read a book about stockholm syndrome... I hated it at first, but it was great after a while."