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Joke of the Day

"Why is it expensive to be a criminal? Because the police charge you."

"What is a jew's favourite bread? Shabbat-a"

"What N word do you not want to call a black man? Neighbor"

"Why do smarter people last longer when having sex? Because it takes twice as long to fuck their brains out"

"when i was 17 my bucket list was ""buy a house"" & ""marry a tycoon"" now i'm 27 it's ""tickle a baby hedgehog"" and ""learn Beyonce choreography"""

"*walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please ""Are you a cop?"" No I love crime and tomfoolery ""..."" Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?"

"Let's make it weird. Dont worry. I'll start."

"Dear Alcohol We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."

"Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul."

"I'll never forget my grandad's last words on his deathbed. He said: ""I should never have bought this deathbed. Asking for trouble..."""