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Joke of the Day

"I walked in on my parents having sex last night... Possibly the most awkward 45 minutes of my life..."

"""My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body's telling me yesss...BABY"" Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?"

"Why was the man accused of sexual harassment never arrested? He was a policeman"

"What is in a virgin candy bar? Cherries and nuts"

"I think Ronda Rousey would be at a disadvantage if she fought Floyd Mayweather. Mayweather has had practice beating women"

"A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... ..and a mop."

"I hear kleptomaniacs make the best detectives They pick up everything."

"I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms.' He said, 'Just a minute.' And I said, 'Yep, that's my brand.'"

"The best part of being old for the holidays? Nobody bats an eye when you 'randomly fall asleep' in the middle of a conversation."

"Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour? They're in Greenwich Mean Time."