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Joke of the Day

"I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms.' He said, 'Just a minute.' And I said, 'Yep, that's my brand.'"

"How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it."

"Why are toilet tasks called ONE and TWO? Because TWO rhymes with POO"

"Boy: Grandma do you know how to croak. Grandma: No I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do."

"Never laugh at a toddlers joke unless you want to hear it repeated 425 more times."

"What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer? Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it."

"I'm going to name my first daughter karma, Being a bitch already runs in the family."

"That sinking feeling when you realize you forgot to lock your clubhouse when you were 8, and it's probably all infested now with girls"

"I only have a beard so I can scratch it while I judge."

"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find her? Because she's Transparent."