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Joke of the Day

"I never make ""air quotes"" with my fingers when I'm talking, but I do lean to the side & whisper so you sense I'm italicizing."

"The arrogant baker declared 'You'll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window' The customer agreed 'It must be the double glazing'"

"Ever heard of the movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."

"nothing is more unattractive than insecurity unless that doesnt sound right haha i mean whatever you guys think"

"It's called a ponytail because there is a small horse inside your head growing his tail out of you."

"Thank you, U.S. Senate. I've been asking and telling people things all day!"

"I slept through my girlfriend's alarm this morning and hit the ground running after her husband threw me out the window."

"Terry Fox should have taken his leg off for his run across Canada in 1980 ... and made it the Marathon of Hop"

"How do chemists get high? they drop acid of course"

"My mac has a factory defect. I've been using for 3 years and it still works."