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Joke of the Day

"Terry Fox should have taken his leg off for his run across Canada in 1980 ... and made it the Marathon of Hop"

"In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s"

"A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach. ""That won't help you, Joe, you know?"" ""Oh it helps a lot,"" says the man, ""it's the only way I can see the numbers!"""

"Christ, you're ENORRRRMUS!! What did the leprechaun say when he met Jesus?"

"What spice is guaranteed to make your girlfriend walk out on you? Bay Leaves"

"What's the best hotel in the world? Auschwitz. 1.3 million stars."

"4yo has repeated one word for an hour. 6yo is ninja fighting his imaginary friend. My move to a mental asylum will be an easy transition."

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? The headline read ""Small medium at large."""

"Life is like a penis. Sometimes it's hard."

"Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane."