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Joke of the Day

"craigslist -> jobs -> Wanted: Pet psychic. Need proof my dog hates my fashion sense. Must be fine with nudity. This is not a sex thing."

"Q: What do space aliens put on their windows? A: Venutian blinds."

"How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"Did you hear about that new species of mosquito? It's called the Nickelback, it really sucks."

"Pros are good and cons are bad, so... What's the opposite of constitution?"

"It's amazing how much us guys complain about women and then we fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth."

"The quickest way to immigrate to America... Is on a one way ticket to Mexico."

"Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a f*cking chainsaw."

"Someone at Sony Studios was arrested for having a bomb in his backpack. He was released after it was determined that it was the script for Ghostbusters"

"For every stripper with ""daddy issues"" there are 10 more ""daddies with stripper issues"""