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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife? Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool"

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? alien vs predator"

"Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time."

"Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the ""Like"" button."

"I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised."

"How do you make a nun pregnant? NSFW Dress her up as an altar boy."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside!"

"What is the square root of 69? Eight something."

"I'm really good mates with 25 letters out of the alphabet I don't know why"

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."