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Joke of the Day

"I got out of bed this morning and decided it was time to turn it around. So, I did a 180 and went back to bed."

"What's small and green and smells like pork? Kermit's Finger."

"Two years ago, my favourite cow died Today, I finally moooved on."

"What I say to someone who's being crabby: Clam down, I'm shore it'll be fine."

"When my buddy smokes weed with me, he calls it smoking me out. Apparently bringing over a pizza and eating him out means something totally different."

"People are always mistaken thinking there is only 1 letter in the pirate dictionary, in actual fact there is 10 Eye eye, argh and the 7 seas"

"More ""kills"" on Tinder than any man in the history of online dating, Bradley Cooper is.... American Swiper."

"What do you call a group of brain surgeons? A neural network."

"What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants? ""YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!"""

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? (2-part joke) *A no-eye-deer!* What do you call a kitten with no eyes? *Animal abuse.*"