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Joke of the Day

"What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires? He shrugged and said, ""I've got asparagus."""

Next Joke
 
"Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again."
"Codpieces aren't supposed to made out of fish? Crap! Hang on, then, I need to change."
"Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit. Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work."
"Whats the difference between acne and the pope? Acne doesn't come on your face till about thirteen."
"How do you know you are at a picnic with gay men? All the hot dogs taste like shit"
"What did the Earth say to the Earthquake? Sorry...that was my fault."
"TIL that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has it's own version of the devil . . . You will know this fake Flying Spaghetti Monster by his name, for he is known as the Im-Pasta."
"Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she's dead."
"What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash? Whites occasionally get inside a colored wash."