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Joke of the Day

"Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again."

"I call my penis the Trojan horse It looks harmless, but then it gets inside you and completely destroys you."

"My friend told me she has herpes. I told her it's not the end of the world, just a few bumps in the road."

"I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That's the problem w/commercials! They're not long enough!"

"The idea that someone would be upset NOT to be invited to a wedding is so confusing to me."

"I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he'd picked up every time."

"Yall wanna hear a joke? Women's rights."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? KANYE WEST - Beyonce should have crossed the road, not the chicken!"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? ...I can't jelly my dick up your ass (courtesy of my younger brother, lol)"

"They say revolution breeds revolution. Resistance is fertile."