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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when I remove myself from around people to fart in peace and they follow me right after I have release a big one."

"Have you heard about the airplane industry? Its really taking off and reaching new heights."

"In his new book of poems, John Ashbery rhymes ""coagulate"" with ""indeed."" It's like he's not even trying."

"Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don't cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it. Now who's stupid? They are!"

"Would you rather...? Would you rather have fucked a goat but nobody knows, or everyone thinks you fucked a goat but you didnt and there's no way to change their mind?"

"I would rate my skill at psychic abilitys... medium."

"What is the difference between Spiderman and Superman? Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent."

"Have you heard the joke about Baltimore? It's a riot!"

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"Dad, what's a Freudian slip? Well son, it's when you say one thing and mean your Mother...I mean another."