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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard the joke about Baltimore? It's a riot!"
Next Joke
"A job interview. What's your worst quality? Honesty. Well, i don't think that honesty is a bad quality.. I don't give a fuck what you think."
"[graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great"
"My self esteem is so low.... The other night my hand told me that it had a headache."
"What are a philosopher's favorite type of chips? Plato Nachos"
"What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road? Rust-in-peace."
"Sorry I'm late... I was at the hospital *cough* my boyfriend has tuberculosis."
"A mean mathematician is just an average guy."
"Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their mothers."
"Pro tip: No matter how much you hate wrapping, never ask your wife to wrap her own Christmas presents."