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Joke of the Day

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet? Human: we are an advanced species A: how do you travel? H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed!"

"Every function without you will always be void of love."

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it"

"The news about Charlie Sheen having HIV is the only positive thing I have been reading in my Facebook timeline all week. No pun intended."

"Twitter is the only place where black people can follow me,and not get nervous about it"

"I've just started my own company called Flying Fuck Airlines. Judging from what I've seen here, it's going to be an outstanding success."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say? Want to buy a candy?"

"What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The large pizza can feed a family of four."

"Clean sheet day!! *brushes Pringles crumbs over to his side of the bed*"