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Joke of the Day
"TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead"
Next Joke
"*Ok, don't let them know you're a dog* Him: The job is yours. Here's the keys to your new office. [tosses keys] *catches keys in my mouth*"
"I just watched a documentary about hydroelectricity Best dam program I've seen in a long time."
"Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America"
"Who makes the best Astronauts? Team Rocket since they're always blasting off."
"Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor? Their teacher told them not to use tables!"
"I used to be indecisive. But now I'm not so sure."
"I'll have a club sandwich on rye. Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion"
"Rappers, you don't have to tell them to wave their hands like they don't care. They're millennials: they already don't care."
"Q: What did the boots say to the cowboy? A: You ride -- I'll go on foot."