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Joke of the Day

"*gets laser eye surgery* ""Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?"" I told you, that's not what *i squint at him real hard but he's right*"

Next Joke
 
"When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower gets turned on."
"Reddit right now [deleted]"
"I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists... those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work."
"A big moron and a little moron were standing on the edge of a roof. Suddenly a gust of wind came and the big one fell off, but the little one didn't. Why? He was a little more on."
"A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine but whatever you do don't cure her."
"Did you hear the one about the guy who was about to tell a joke and then thought better of it? He killed it."
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. I don't know what they did up there, but they came back with a daughter."
"Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps."
"Donald Trump discovers porn I bet Donald Trump was pretty disappointed when he typed ""BBW"" in the Pornhub search bar, and videos of Big Beautiful Walls didn't pop up..."