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Joke of the Day

"7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check? Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th."

"Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC? because it's stoned."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Most say the letter 'R' But a pirates first love is the mighty 'C' By the mighty 'C' I mean the clitoris YARRRRHHHHHhhh....."

"""Why are you wearing?"" - existentialist reporter on the red carpet"

"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb."

"What's in a domestic book? Home page."

"9/11 jokes aren't funny... My dad died on 9/11. I still remember his last words ""ALLAHU AKBAR""."

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."

"""I'd like you to go down to the shop and ask for a matteryogi."" *""But, what's a matteryogi?""* Nothing Boo Boo"

"If you care about someone, even a little bit. I beg of you. Please. TELL THEM WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR TEETH."