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Joke of the Day

"Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers."

"Me: Sometimes you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, enfarcorate, and move on. You know what I'm saying? Friend: ..."

"Why are black people unable to get a PhD Because they can't get past their masters."

"The phrase 'lazy asshole' is an oxymoron... Because an asshole gets shit done."

"A friend of mine has just moved into his new house. I got him a radiator as a house warming present."

"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"

"New Year's Resolution 2016p"

"Just told my kids they had to share. Now they are dressed in long blacks wigs singing if I could turn back time."

"1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it."

"[TIFU] I picked up somebody else's sandwich at Subway Ooops, wrong sub!"