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Joke of the Day
"Please don't take my 'mmm hm's' as encouragement to go on with your story."
Next Joke
"A day with no sunshine is like..... night"
"The propellor of a plane is actually a giant fan for the pilot When the fan stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating"
"A young girl swallowed a pin when she was eleven and never felt a prick until she turned eighteen."
"Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down."
"""These speakers didn't cost that much so I doubt they will work well"" ""that is a cheap stereotype"""
"Why do support meetings for premature ejaculation always start on time? Because the members come early."
"My wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter I don't know what shocked her the most; the fact I was having sex with our daughter or the abortion clinic gave me the fetus."
"Q: What do small businesses cry when account executives harass them for money? A: Yelp!"
"got my blood test results back today, and it's just as i feared. my body is filled with a ton of blood."