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Joke of the Day

"My wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter I don't know what shocked her the most; the fact I was having sex with our daughter or the abortion clinic gave me the fetus."

"""You're a unit of power Joe."" ""I'm a Watt?"""

"What do you call someone who sings about mints? A ""Minstrel""."

"Kelly Ayotte says ""Donald Trump is absolutely a role model for kids."" She's right, kids don't pay taxes either."

"If i had $1 for every time i got called beautiful.. I'd have $1. Thanks mom."

"Why can't you fool aborted babies? Because they weren't born yesterday."

"""Calm down"" I suggested. ""WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M NOT CALM?"" she carved in the side of my truck."

"For the past 2 nights my stomach sounds like cat purring when I lay down. I'm terrified to Web MD this. I'm too young to have kittens."

"Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving."

"""I like big butts and I can not lie"" - Some homeless guy sifting through an ashtray."