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Joke of the Day

"What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids? Naughty pine"

"Being sick sucks. I've laid in bed for days, ate nothing, lost 4 pounds, didn't go to work and slept nonstop. Wait. Being sick is AWESOME!"

"Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes"

"What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus? I don't know but I'm sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton."

"Heroin is like a baby.. ..it feels so amazing to have in your arms."

"Hangovers vs Women Why are hangovers better than women? Hangovers go away!"

"Life's like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people."

"It's 'before' not 'B4'... We don't speak Bingo here..."

"What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels"

"The ugly barnacle. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end."