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Joke of the Day

"How many police men does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter...they'll just beat the room for being black."

"A realistic Applebee's commercial would show a collection of recently divorced dads blankly staring at the bar's televisions."

"Girl and Boy Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"It would be way cooler if whenever you punched a kid, a bunch of coins came out of them like in Mario. But ya, I'm free to babysit tonight."

"What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !"

"My Gold plated butt-plug business is being sued by Apple. Apparently they have a patent for overpriced crap for arseholes."

"I've got 40 raisins in my savings account ...oh no wait, that's my currant account."

"Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face"

"If someone eggs your house, you can save time cleaning up by just baking your house into a cake."

"Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube."