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Joke of the Day

"How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? You knock on the door."

"There needs to be a ""Sorry I clogged your toilet"" Hallmark card."

"Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!"

"My daughter asked for a Frozen blanket So last night she slept on the balcony"

"What manner of evil contract with the devil must I enter into so I can get eye drops INTO my eyes?"

"""Hey Frosty, calm down on the snacks. You're getting fat. Check out this six pack! You could do laundry on it!"" - the Abdominal Snowman"

"Muffins. So there are two muffins in an oven. One says to the other, ""Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?"" And the second one says, ""Holy shit, a talking muffin!"""

"Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I'm thirsty."

"well its a strange request ""pleease"" ok ok [doctor says test results again only this time in arnold schwarzenegger voice] its naht a toomah"

"The REAL reason Bin Laden was buried at sea: Maggots have standards."