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Joke of the Day

"If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex. Probably with the other sock."

"Sorry I said ""nice phone"" when you showed me a photo of your baby."

"Unappreciated diet tip: If you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it's important to start out really fat."

"Why is everyone impatiently awaiting the new Zelda game? It's Hylian-ticipated"

"""This is not fair!"" - Russian guy realizing he got bad directions to the fair."

"I feel like I have something to prove here. Judge: That's sort of how this works."

"A man walks into a bar and takes a seat... The bartender shot him before he even made it back to the door."

"Why does nobody like Tigger? Because he plays with Pooh."

"What does an octopus have ten of? Tickles..."

"The Jewish Dad A Jewish kid asks his dad for $50. His dad replies ""$40?! What the hell do you need $30 for?!"""