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Joke of the Day

"I don't care what your favorite song is, if you set it as the alarm you wake up to in the morning, you'll want to stab it with other songs."

"What do you call a greedy crab? Shell fish......"

"What's the best way to prepare baby food? Shake'n bake."

"wife: What's the best moment of your life? me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding"

"How are tigers like sergeants in the army ? They both wear stripes !"

"Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans"

"Whats the square root of 69? Ate something"

"What do you get when you combine north beach and south beach? Sum of beaches."

"""Hi, My name is John Foreman and I run a cabinet making business."" John said counter-productively."

"The first Jewish President is being sworn in His mother is in the audience, she turns to the man sitting beside her and says ""See my son up there? Well, his brother is a doctor!"""