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Joke of the Day

"Unappreciated diet tip: If you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it's important to start out really fat."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done."

"If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, ""so it can't get away,"" that's your future serial killer right there."

"Adult joke My friend said the way he would want to die by blowjob, i told him it would be a quick death."

"When it comes to stealing chocolate bars... I have a couple twix up my sleeve"

"The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym."

"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are waiting for Comcast to fix their internet connection."

"My boss fired me. ""Why?"" I protested. ""I haven't done anything!"" Turns out that was his reason."

"Pyramid schemes... Wrong on so many levels"

"A red piller, an MRA, and a gamergator walks into a bar The bartender asks him to leave because bars are 21+ Credit: /u/reese_ridley"