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Joke of the Day

"My New Years resolution is to not make a New Years resolution. I figure I am going to fuck it up anyway... I may as well do it from the start."

"I have a fifth sense when it comes to smells."

"What's the stupidest animal in the Jungle? A Polar Bear"

"Reddit has taught me this in case I ever have a daughter. Never ever get a full size mirror installed in her bathroom."

"A SEO expert walks into a bar Bar, bars, pub, lounge, restaurant, beer garden, nightclub, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, beer, wine, whisky"

"I'm never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken..."

"Whats worse than ants in your pants? Your uncle."

"What kind of tree would have the best bark? Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P"

"Neurotic condoms stay awake at night thinking ""I'm only 99% effective."""

"What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!"