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Joke of the Day

"If life were a romantic comedy I would be the guy on a date with the girl when the male lead makes his grand gesture that wins her back."

"Read more Aardvark jokes"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ? Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !"

"[calls home] son: hello me: hi, put mom on the phone son: I can't me: why son: she's too heavy"

"What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom. A pick pocket snatches watches."

"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"

"A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here... So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice."

"My buddy just got a supercomputer. Thing's about as big as a room. That shit Cray."

"What is the Kingsman policy on workplace relationships? (OC) Brogues before Hos"

"The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt"