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Joke of the Day
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"""They like to buy t-shirts reminding each other of the words from movies they have seen and enjoyed"" - me finishing my report on humans"
"Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning."
"What do you call it when Google Glass connects to the internet? Eye-fi."
"Do these jorts stuffed with free breadsticks from Olive Garden make my thighs look oily?"
"A baby seal walks into a club. ...while two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bah-dum-tsssssss."
"After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third Anatomy exam... the answers were inside me the entire time"
"I pointed to two old farts sitting across the bar and told my friend ""That's us in 10 years"". He said ""Dude, that's a mirror"""
"What do a teenage girl and her baby have in common? They're both thinking, ""Oh shit! My mom's gonna kill me."""
"Surprised ""too much"" still isn't a serving size."