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Joke of the Day

"What's Justin Bieber's favorite make of car? Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry."

"I went to the zoo yesterday, but the only animal they had was a small dog. It was a shih-tzu."

"If your middle initial is V, I bet you constantly get mistaken for a court case."

"""We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here,"" says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."

"What's the difference between a car tire and 365 blowjobs? One's a Goodyear... and one's a *great* year."

"There's no sex like the we haven't had it for awhile' kind of sex."

"Have you been to Iran? You shouldn't go, I heard they don't like Joggers there."

"[Genie] Last wish idiot, impress me. [Me] I want Morgan Freeman to narrate my eulogy [drops dead] [Morgan Freeman] He was an idiot."

"Your mom is so fat She's the trunk of the family tree"

"Nomenclature is important when courting a lady. For example, ""feminine scent"" and ""feminine odor"" are perceived differently. You're welcome."