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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why subway has to train their employees. We do that for them everytime we order & tell them EXACTLY how to make a sub."

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"Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews? Yosemite!"
"I love pressing buttons, so as you could imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples."
"Bad news guys. The 1st person who ever typed ""LOL"" into a keyboard just died of double AIDS."
"*placing Trump & Hillary signs on my lawn Neighbor: ""Confused about who to vote for?"" Me: ""What? No! I'm making a Halloween haunted house."""
"""Just how serious are you about keeping me as a customer?"" *slides hand across table to take a second promotional pen"
"So Tiger will be back for The Masters? I was really hoping he'd wait until The Player's Championship. The man's comedic timing is terrible."
"I'm not sure what 'First World Problems' means so I tried to look it up on my phone but I can't get 3G service here and my life is horrible!"
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mom"
"When is a man smartest before, during or after sex? During that's when he's plugged into the know it all."