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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin"

"A joke I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis."

"If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

"Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer? Because they were using a Berner Phone."

"A time traveling pharaoh and a modern Jewish man discuss religions When the man says he is Jewish the pharaoh responds ""I absolutely love Jews. I own 40,000 of them!"""

"Did you hear the one about the gynecologist who was looking for a job? He could never find an opening."

"What's the difference between a painting and Jesus. You only require one nail to put up the painting."

"ME: [practising my samurai sword moves in the mirror] [ever so slightly later] ME: [dying from massive blood loss]"

"Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs"

"What do politicians and diapers have in common? Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reasons."