142813
Joke of the Day
"So, as I was bleeding internally... ...I was dying inside. (bad joke)"
Next Joke
"unlike drugs, twitter addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life"
"I didn't sleep a wink last night because my neighbor was screaming her head off. I think she doesn't like my basement."
"I was intimate with a clown once. She just tickled my funny bone."
"Autocorrect just changed ""carnie"" to ""catnip"" and now all my friends think I slept with a bunch of catnips last night."
"No matter how much you loved them if a family member or pet comes back from the dead don't dilly dally kill them immediately"
"I walked into a bar tonight carrying some jumper cables... Bartender told me not to start any shit in here!"
"My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!"
"Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?"
"Louie C.K.'s Honda Civic joke at the Oscars Really struck Accord"