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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend looked at me with her sexy eyes So, my girlfriend looked at me with her sexy eyes and said, ""I want you to make me scream with only two fingers baby"".... so I poked her in the eyes."

"Can't believe it's already been 10 years since you had to pay for music."

"Why hasn't Beetle Bailey retired from the Army yet?"

"all right class welcome to Intro to Sitting 101. everyone have a seat. *confused whispering among class*"

"A cabbage and a carrot get into a race, who wins? The cabbage, it's a head"

"Dad, I'm cold.. Dad : Go stand in the corner son. Son: why? Dad: because its 90 degrees"

"This man's dad was an atheist. Told me he was a god damned mother fucker."

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"Tiger Woods joke So I guess Tiger Wood and Lindsay Vonn are having an Open relationship."

"To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty."