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Joke of the Day

"2 convicted murderers escaped a New York prison using cordless power tools. Authorities said,when they get a hold of them they will be charged."

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"An Irish elocution lesson Say the following words together quickly: Whale. Oil. Beef. Hooked."
"Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."
"I'm extremely terrified that Donald Trump might run this country..... I completely mean that."
"What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity? Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!"
"So, my wife makes moonshine.... ...but I love her still."
"There once was a frenchman Yvon was his name, exploring the world he dreamed was his fame, but... He's fucking retarded."
"Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is."
"Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse."
"Some guy yesterday wanted to get all up in my grill... ... So I hit him with my truck."