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Joke of the Day

"Guys: when you're shaving, do the Hitler part first. You don't want to get interrupted and then be running around with just the Hitler part."

"I just feel like you shouldn't be using a selfie stick unless you're a T-Rex."

"How many Mexicans will make it across the border when Trump becomes president? Juan in a million."

"A friend asked if I thought there was alien life on other planets and I was like don't give up hope, there's someone out there for you"

"The problem is I'm really tired... But I hear there's a nap for that."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is a hardware problem."

"Autocorrect changed ""stranger"" to ""strangler"" & it made me wonder how often I must have written about murdering people to teach it that."

"What did the autobots call Optimus Prime after he died? Posthumous Prime"

"Accordion to a recent survey, most people don't notice when a musical instrument is inserted into a sentence."

"I love Nilla Wafers because who has time to say ""Vanilla"" in today's busy world?"