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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a fly and a bird ? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird !"

"Why couldn't the anarchist draw a straight line? He didn't have a ruler!"

"I saw a poor cat down the street So I felt bad and gave it two dollars"

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first muffin turns to the other and says ""gee it's hot in here"" The other muffin replies ""holy shit! A talking fucking muffin!"""

"Yet another Chuck Norris joke. Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon using a payphone."

"How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots."

"My friend started calling the toilet the Jim instead of the John He said it sounds better when he tell people he goes to the Jim everyday."

"Why didn't JFK ever like vodka? Because he couldn't handle a few shots"

"""...until death do us part."" *looks at minister* ""What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie? Then I can bang other chicks?"""

"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store."