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Joke of the Day

"A blond and a brunette jump off the empire state building... Who lands first? The brunette. The blond had to stop and ask for directions."

"How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool? Say ""Get out of the pool."""

"Time travel jokes never get old."

"I told someone my name and they said, ""That's unusual. You don't hear that every day."" Actually, I do."

"Tell the dude at Starbucks your name is Poison Coffee, and when he calls your name, fall out of your chair onto the floor."

"why is being in the mafia and administering cunnilingus similar one slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"

"Inspired by a recent ELI5: ""Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres"", I present this oldie... Q: What comes in quarts? . . A: Elephants"

"The older you get the less people you can actually tolerate. I can tolerate about 5 people right now, 3 are my children and even that's iffy"

"Blondes are dumb whores... They all think less than equals three."

"A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says:, Sorry, but we don't serve minors."