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Joke of the Day

"I told someone my name and they said, ""That's unusual. You don't hear that every day."" Actually, I do."

"Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade."

"I'm going to subtly spread my brownie crums across your car because I silently resent you for changing the song."

"If you have to pick up 9 cans on your desk before you find the one with beer in it, you........ you'd forget the fucking punch line too."

"I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"Saw a guy with three lip-ring piercings on the subway today. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain."

"Just saw a girl wearing a ""BAD GAL"" t-shirt so I yelled ""NO!"" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper."

"After being fired Donald Trump went to collect his last paycheck from NBC but HR wasn't sure who toupee"

"Roll call comes for a Mexican bus trip They always seem to be late from missing juan"

"""But I need braaaaaaains!"" ~A frustrated zombie at a Trump rally"