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Joke of the Day

"The artist jumped from a bridge, carrying all of his favorite paints and pastels. At least he passed with flying colors."

"Though my heart is a fist, I really do my girlfriend"

"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."

"Whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito? If you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking!"

"Wearing sunglasses while indoors let's everyone know you have no business making even minor life decisions."

"Why do they say ""character actress""? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?"

"Serial Killer What Do You call a man that breaks into a neighbor's house to stab Cereal boxes? A Cereal Killer!"

"Before Calling Me, ask yourself ""Is This Textable?"""

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was into beastiality you Islamophobe... He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday."

"My neighbour has had a record 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away in fact -StewartFrancis"