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Joke of the Day

"Are you a great at fishing? So you're a Mastur""bait""er"

"What did Justin Beiber say to his teacher? What do you mean?"

"Doctor doctor I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well you do look a site"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"

"A shark walks into a bar, and the bartender leaves because sharks are dangerous."

"[first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm an accountant Me: oh nice Date: thanks Me: Date: Me: so how many ants have u counted so far"

"Vending machines are so homophobic. I'm sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you."

"What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled? It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!"

"Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name? Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar."

"Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match? Because they're both stopped by the rein."