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Joke of the Day

"My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'."

"I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like ""thank God it Friday!"" or ""Im pregnant of baby"""

"My friend got drunk and thinks he had sex with a prostitute... At first he wasn't sure, but then he was *positive*."

"i finally checked out chatroulette. i saw three fornicators, two masturbaters, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Why is the door to heaven always open? Because Jesus was born in a barn."

"After watching Interstellar, I really want to buy a Lincoln."

"Why was the garbage man arrested? Because he was bin laden."

"What do Islamic McDonalds employees wear? A cheeseburka"

"If you had one match to light a kerosene lamp, fire place, wood-burning stove Which do you light first? The match"

"You know my grandfather died in a Nazi prison camp? He died falling off a watch tower"