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Joke of the Day

"My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'."

"If porno was realistic, there would be kids knocking on the door yelling that spongebob was on a commercial break."

"What is the size of women in Italy? Itali-cized."

"Pretty sure the guy who named them ""walkie talkies"" got fired before he could name other military equipment."

"I'm going to Bangalore to open a second hand clothing store. And I'm gonna call it ""Who's Sari Now."""

"Fridge My fridge has been acting weird, I guess it's bi-polar."

"Why wouldn't Samus go below Brinstar? Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more ""Riddle-y,"" than say an actual joke."

"Why was the Scandinavian atheist warm? He had Thor doubt."

"Someone just tweeted something vague that made me think a celeb had died so I googled ""dead."" No dice! Thank god---hang in there, celebs!"

"How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard."