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Joke of the Day

"We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams."

"So I organized a threesome last night.... There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had fun."

"You know how racist make their pancakes? With white powder."

"What is teen pop? Jared's favorite music genre."

"What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out? ""Time to try the udder one."""

"What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive? Miscarriage"

"Taught a parrot to repeatedly say ""WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?"" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool."

"How did the hipster burn their lips? They ate the pizza before it was cool"

"A sandwich is better than sex. Because nothing is better than sex and a sandwich is better than nothing."

"What to you call a fat computer? A dell"