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Joke of the Day

"""Stressed"" backwards is ""desserts"" so chill and have that cupcake."

"Someday I wish to experience the moment of joy that seems to only exist in Old Navy commercials."

"What did the answering machine say to the telephone? Take my word for it."

"Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares."

"Why did the Germans loose WWII? They kept Stalin around."

"Rules for being a good neighbor: 1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS 2. Don't forget rule number one."

"Knock knock Who's there? Shi Huang Di Shi Huang Di Who? She wan DEEEEEZ NUTS! Yay for history jokes."

"U2 just announced their world tour. Do I need to buy tickets or are they going to break into my house and start playing?"

"Lettuce, tomato, onion, green peppers... Wrong sub."

"In case of emergency, exits can be located at the log out, delete, deactivate, hide and block features. Thank you for flying with Facebook"