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Joke of the Day
"No, takeout goes in the front seat. You sit in the back."
Next Joke
"No, no, no. I said I was a 'peephole' person."
"Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine? Because Chernobyl fallout"
"Yesterday I gave my seat to a blind man Today I lost my job as a bus driver"
"Just watched my wedding video backwards - Loved the part where I took off the ring, left the church, and fucked off with my friends"
"Anytime I pass an unlocked minivan I throw a few of my kids' most annoying toys in the trunk."
"Hippies say the darndest things... What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job? Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)"
"[OC] Girls who prefer ""dad bods""... Just want father figures in their lives."
"The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave."
"What's long and hard and full of seamen? The tube sock under my bed."