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Joke of the Day
"I don't understand why you can lead a horse to water but you can't make a teenager do the dishes."
Next Joke
"CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe"
"I've been fired from work for putting in too many hours Clock manufacturing isn't as easy as you think ^(yes I thought of this after reading the shifts-keyboard joke)"
"What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common? Princess Diana can't stop either"
"""Shoot for the moon, land among the stars"" -dead astronaut"
"Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave."
"Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: Hair, you'll never be beautiful, you'll always have split ends. *hair is super let down*"
"Brace yourselves!! The flowers, candy and jewelry mobile uploads are upon us....."
"""NO YOU'RE DRUNK,"" she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner."
"Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and his left leg? He was all right."