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Joke of the Day

"If you cut me off in traffic you better be ready to look in your rearview mirror and see me yelling something you can't hear."

"So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply ""Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"" ~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~ No regrets"

"2016 is on such a high kill streak I'm worried for when it's going to unlock nukes"

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"

"I was trying to help my blonde neighbour park her trailered boat in her driveway. Go ahead, back up, I kept saying...it took over 2 hours."

"Who is Donald Trump's favorite action star? Sylvester Small-Loan"

"A Mexican magician tells his audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, ""uno, dos... *poof*... He disappeared without a tres"

"What's the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and imaging you are poking through Old guy at work told me that hahaha"

"It's all fun and games until you lose your wifi signal."

"My dog stopped digging after I told him he's just gonna end up in China."