142206

Joke of the Day

"I've had enough of my girlfriend's obsession with auctions. So I bid her farewell."

"Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom? She was afraid someone would steal her IP address."

"Why is Bernie Sanders' campaign like Jon Snow? (Game of Thrones spoilers) They're both ""dead."""

"Man, I'd give my first born to be able to have a kid someday"

"Is it too much to ask that my gay friends flamboyantly leap from closets when I visit their houses?"

"How does a jew celebrate Christmas ? He installs a parking meter on the roof"

"I'm giving up, folks. Years of letters and phone calls making my case quite articulately but they still won't give the Muppets nipples."

"How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins."

"Probably a lot of horses sitting on couches today talking about how they could have ""gone Derby"" if they hadn't gotten hurt in college."

"Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger inspire George W Bush to become president? A: Because he could explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German!"